MOM

Mom, 
 I am sitting here listening to classic rock and I started to remember how you and I would go cruising in your little red car around town on a summers night with the windows down and the classic rock station turned up loud, listening to our favorite songs from the 80s and singing at the top of our lungs as we stopped for cokes on ice as you called them from Sonic.  So many songs playing now that remind me of those days, having the music on in the house with the windows open and the summer breeze blowing in as we either cleaned house or sitting on the deck or in the swimming pool.  I miss our talks that we used to have during those times and those times we didn't talk, I miss watching scary movies with you and how you had to watch Ghost Hunters, and how you and I had many talks about the paranormal and you told me that when you passed and there was an afterlife, you would come to me and give me the sign that we agreed upon that you would give me,  I wish I could have those days back mom. It isn't fair that at the age of 56 you had to have your memories stolen by Alzheimer's and your spark and life taken.  I know somewhere in there you are still there, I wish that you could become you again and listen to music with me once more. Mom I want you to know I am keeping the promise you made me keep to you and not come home to see you that way, I wish I could talk to you and I wish that you would remember me as I remember you. I want to thank you for everything mom, I want you to know that I am happy in my life, I am living in San Diego with Patrick, happily married and getting stronger each day, mom I am taking voice lessons and sang in front of the family, I sang Jolene by Dolly Parton, one of your favorite songs. No matter what mom as the old Bob Seger Song Said "You're Still The Same" you always will be in my memories.  

I WILL NOT KEEP SILENT.

I am saddened by how things turned out with this election, I did not vote for him, and I didn't really like Hillary as well. I have never seen so much hate as I have now coming from some of the Trump supporters,   I am saddened by how my Native brothers and sisters are being treated as they fight to keep their sacred lands. I am saddened by how young Native girls and girls everywhere are being sexually abused, beaten, brought down, made to feel shame for being a female, some forced to runaway and sell themselves on the streets just so they can survive feeling that way is much better than what they ran away from. I am saddened that we have homeless children and men and women on the streets, because no one cares enough, I am saddened that children are being abused, going to bed hungry.  I am sad that we live in a world where it's much better to pull out our cell phones and film some people fighting and someone being beaten than it is to step in and say enough or try to break it up, I am saddened to see how the elderly are treated, I am saddened that a young girl thinks it's okay to show her body and starve herself,  because she thinks that is going to make her popular.  I am saddened that teenagers everywhere think it's better to kill themselves than face another day of being bullied and picked on for loving who they wish, being who they want to be, or for being too fat, or to thin. I am saddened that people would rather bury their noses in their cell phones instead of showing concern for those that are silently suffering.  I am saddened by how this became a world of self entitlement, and distance, self centered and turning away, of abuse and hate, of not caring about the Earth and those that are in it. Growing up I  was told I can't do this or I can't do that, that I would never amount to anything,  I was abused, I started to feel like there was no hope, when I was being molested and abused I was told to be quiet to not tell to not feel, I was bullied in high school to the point that I wanted to kill myself, to not fight back as it would make me seem like I was to strong willed, I have been called a bitch, a cunt, a whore, a slut, fat, stupid, for speaking my mind and trying to fight back, I almost gave in and almost kept silent, but I WILL NOT KEEP SILENT.

Rest Well Sweet Mali

Good Morning and blessed be, 
Mali ended up coming back, she was just in hiding.  She had been ill for some time and my husband took her to her vet last Saturday, we found out she had an allergic reaction to the plaque on her teeth and it caused an infection. We were given pain meds and special food, but still my girl wouldn't eat. We made the decision to have her put to sleep so she wouldn't suffer no longer. I called her vet on Monday the 24th and was told to bring her in at 6:15 pm, so I held her all day and loved on her, it was so hard looking at the time and thinking to myself, she only has this many more hours to be with me. She purred and rubbed her head against me. My husband came home and got her and took, I could not go as I was too heartbroken to do so. He stayed with her until she left, We are having her cremated and brought back home. She was such love bug who gave me lots of joy and love and I in turn gave her lots of love as well. I miss you my girl. 

I love you now and always, my sweet girl. Rest well and keep running free. 

UPDATE: 11/10/2016
I got my Mali girl back, the Pet Cemetery and Cremation Services of Soreno Valley cremated my girl and did a paw print of her paw in clay 

   

My Furry Feline

Good morning all, if you're reading this may I ask you for prayers, blessings, etc for my Furry Feline, Mali, she has gone missing and I cannot find her, the last time I saw her she was curled up on my husband the night before last and that was the last time I saw her.  I do not know if she got out and just wandered off to die, she had been not feeling well not eating or going to the bathroom or drinking water, I have checked both closets and under the beds, but no sign of her. I do not remember having the front door open for long periods of time. So I am not sure where she is..I pray to the Goddess that she isn't here in the house dead. It's not like her not to come out and nose around for a bit or to come out when my husband gets home, she loves cuddling with him. I am heartsick and asking the Goddess to allow me to find her. She was also my buddy and my sometimes familiar, she would cuddle to me when I was feeling down and go nuts when we got out the spray can of whipped cream. I have a feeling in my heart that she went off to die.I miss my furry little Feline.

A Litle Flawed And That Is Okay

Good afternoon all, 
I am still in the process of making my own book, here is what I have done so far. I added the leather to the cover and started and molded the spine ribs under the leather on the spine, I made the mistake of gluing the top down first before doing some trimming so I tried to trim it anyway thus showing the white. I ran out of super glue so hubby ordered more for me and will finish up with gluing down the spine. I am waiting for the silver corner pieces to get here, which are coming from Michael's, and the screw posts which are coming from China. Will have to do some touch up on the spine inside as it's pulling, I'll use super glue to do that.  This is a practice one and so I am learning as I go. I have enough supplies to make another book or two. I feel proud of my work, never thought I could do something like this, when you're told all of your life, until hubby came along,  that nothing you can ever do can make anyone proud of you, and being told you can't do that, you doubt yourself and don't have confidence. Doing this book has helped me with that, I can do it, and it has flaws but so do I and that is okay.

                                           added the leather to the front and back

                            Leather on the spine and molded the ribs underneath. 

UPDATE: 11/10/2016
I started over on my book and finished it last month. 

 

Making Lemonade Out Of Lemons

Good Morning and Merry Meet,
I have come to the conclusion that I am never getting my book of shadows from magickally made, she claims she sent it but I am seeing no sign of it, ah well what can I do.?  Anyway this got me thinking, why don't I make my own book, So that is what I am doing, watched a great youtube video series entitled Charmed Book of Shadows tutorial by jamiebookofshadows.

I was worried I wasn't going to be able to do this but after three attempts on getting the spine sturdy I did it,

Cardboard mailing tube for the spine, with chipboard medium weight, 9x12 sheet inside and I asked my neighbor to cut 9x12 wooden boards for me which he kindly did. I wouldn't recommend using printer paper I did and it ripped with I tried to glue the boards to it. 

added the ribbons, and three charms, one a crescent moon, a dragon fly and a pentacle, I'll order a butterfly and fairy next time I order supplies in Oct.

used twine to make the mold for the spine ribs, I am waiting on the leather and screw posts, can't believe I am almost done just need to add leather and the inside to hold the screws that holds the paper and the beautiful hand marbled end leaf paper, my butterfly is on it's way.

The end leaves, the picture doesn't do it justice, it looks a lot better in person, I am also going to try to figure out how to do a strap and buckle closure on my book.

So I was given a lemon and decided to make lemonade,
Joy! I found the buckle that she was going to use on my book,
https://www.caboots.com/cart/product/celtic_buckle_set_1andquot/

Aunt Flo and going with the Flow.

So my Aunt Flo showed up, for those of you that don't know this term it's my monthly visitor.  Yeah I know ewww or TMI, but ah well, we should embrace our moon time, monthly time, shark week, Aunt Flo, period, whatever you choose to call it. It is what makes us women, what makes us powerful, yes, yes, I can hear it now, how does it make us powerful when sometimes the cramps are so bad that all we can do is curl up? I am talking about the power of being a woman, of being a survivor, of the power and energy that flows through us, did you know that more power flows through us during this time than any, well except if you're doing workings in the light of the full moon? I used to dread the monthly time, the mess, the headaches the cramping, the tiredness, etc, but since embracing the path has taught me to embrace all aspects of being a woman. So right now I am embracing Aunt Flo and going with the flow. 

http://www.moontimerising.com/2012/07/13-ways/
 http://www.shemiranibrahim.com/menstruation-the-sacred-cycle/
 http://www.openhandweb.org/sacred_feminine_cycle_moontime

I am also happy to report that my items are starting to come in for me to make my own book of shadows, it should all be here mid October. eager to get started.