Friday, April 28, 2017

It Is Okay To Say No!

Merry Meet All, 
Is it or is it not okay to say no?  When I was living in Missouri, I did have a few friends and I was the yes girl, every time a friend or a coworker at work needed or wanted help I was there, I was the first one to volunteer I was the last one to leave any place or gathering as I helped clean up or helped with what ever, I was always the first to arrive to help get things ready. I was constantly doing this, even though I had things of my own to do and needed to take care of my own stuff, I was afraid to look selfish or to let anyone down or have people be mad at me. It got to the point that I was neglecting myself, neglecting my emotional and mental well being. If I started to say no I would feel guilty, or if I did say no, I would regret it and tell that person okay I'll be there I'll help you. I never asked for anything in return. I never asked for help from anyone. In February of  2011 my fiancee, now husband, asked me to move to San Diego to be with him, of course I said yes, I knew I had only a few months to get things done as he wanted me there the first of April. So I would go to work come home pack a few boxes and relax, on my days off I ran errands and came home and packed and starting cleaning, I was on a time crunch as well.  I didn't ask anyone for help. I didn't want to bother anyone. I was also still that yes girl, I came to San Diego, I started to go to therapy, it took awhile, but we hit on the Yes Girl or Guy mentality, I was shocked what my therapist told me, It's okay to say no, it's okay to live for yourself, it's okay to give when you want to, but just remember to take care of you and live for you.  It's okay if people get mad at you , stick to what you feel. There are emotional vampires out there and people that will make you feel guilty or feel at fault, and that is okay as well, but you have to learn to stand your ground and say no. So if you are like how I was, take a deep breath and just say no, it may be hard to do at first, but trust me, it will get better, and if that person you are saying no to makes you feel guilty and feel bad then that person isn't being a good friend. 

Another question I have or something I want to touch on. 

I always thought a friend was someone that you did things with, such as shopping, going out to lunch, meeting for drinks, chatting on the phone, building each other up, supporting each other, going to the movies together,  gladly introducing you to their best friends, and that special someone in their lives, perhaps double dating  with special someone and your special someone, am I right? 
What if that person never invites you out to lunch or to dinner, never invites you to the movies, never says hey let's get together for a drink, never wants you to have a girls night with their bestie or even meet that special someone in their life, even though you have extended the invitation yourself and they decline, but yet they themselves have done those same things with other friends. Is that a friend also? 

Sunday, April 23, 2017

A Rant and DDPYoga

Merry Meet and Blessed Be Everyone, 
I am in my fifth week of doing DDP Yoga, Five weeks Already?! doesn't seem like it.  I am slowly making smarter food choices, we don't go out to eat as often as we used to and I am doing more cooking at home, I am currently up to almost drinking three liters of water a day, I am slowly getting myself away from coke zero and eating sugary snacks, I still do have the occasional ice cream sandwich,  I am able to stand up now for most of work out, I have also had three days of being pain free in my back and my knees, I know that getting rid of the weight isn't going to happen over night, You have to take it one pound one day at a time, if I loose three pounds a month I'll be happy, so far that is what I have done, my goal right now is to also try to get in a work out every day, I am up to four days a week now, I am going to try to do them longer each time, I went from five mins to 15-25 mins. That is a big goal for me as I hadn't been doing anything at all. I hate working out and always tried to put it off, or would never do it, but you know what if Arthur Boorman can do it so can I, I will link his youtube video here  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448 this man has inspired me to keep going, to keep trying to not give up, I am not even going to a gym, I turn on my laptop, go to my dashboard and click on my program, I love how it lets you determine what level you are, right now I am in the limited mobility and doing some of the beginner beginner program.  I'll even give you the link to how to sign up for the online access, it's 30.00 bucks a month, some of you are saying oh it's too much, well I bet you spend that much on your starbucks coffee. Am I right? Or that much in a week going out to eat.  https://www.ddpyoganow.com/
I am going to weigh in tomorrow and see where I am at
 Also another thing I want to touch on, I am friends with someone that never invites me out to go shopping, never invites me out to go to lunch, we never go out to the movies together, I have asked a few times and she says yeah that sounds like a good idea I'll have to check my schedule and get back with you, I remind her again after a few days, oh I haven't checked yet I'll get back to you, then I never hear anything, we go for weeks without texting, I don't like to text her while she is at work as she has a job working in a courthouse, but we do exchange texts sometimes, and she never comes to my house, even though I have invited her several times. The only time I feel, that she wants me around is when she wants me to do something, what I mean by this is that she will say Hey we need girl time, come over I'll buy Chinese and I need to clean how about you sit while I clean or hey maybe you can help me go through things, I am really stressed I have to move soon, my cousin backed out of coming to help me, I am used to it, I said oh I am sorry to hear that, I hear you on that regard I am used to doing things on my own, when I moved from Missouri to San Diego, I had to pack, clean, and such while also holding down a job, I did my packing and cleaning on my days off and a little at night when I got home from work and on the weekends. She goes well I don't ask for anyone to help me as I was hoping that someone, or you would volunteer, normally I would jump and say yes I'll come help you, but it's getting to the point that I feel like I am sitting on the back burner and waiting for her to spend time with me. She goes out with other friends and such, but yet won't invite me, She doesn't want me to meet her friend that she has had for 20 some years, even when I suggested that we all get together and have a movie, pizza night, I have asked her to come to my house several times, and I have asked her to go to the movies, but yet she has some reason why she can't go, but yet she finds time to do things with other people, I haven't even met her boyfriend yet, I have even hinted at she, her boyfriend, my husband and I get together and go out to eat or have a bbq, she doesn't reply or makes up an excuse. I also feel like I have to walk on egg shells around her with what I say and do, then she questioned my past and asked if I was really Native American, yes I am Native American, even though I have brown hair and blue eyes, my birth mother was Native American and European bloodline, her father was full blooded, and her mother was a mix of Native and Irish and Italian,  and my father was white, being German, Italian, and Irish. I would never question someone about their past and or where they came from and I would never make them feel like they have to walk on egg shells around me and I would never just put someone on the back burner and use them when It was convenient for me. Is this a Friend or am I wrong. 

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Two Weeks In And Feeling Great!

Merry Meet, 
I hope you are all doing well. So I didn't get my refund from Paypal they denied it saying it was too long past their file date. So Andria Pettell is getting away with scamming many many people out of hundreds of dollars, but I believe that Karma will come back around to her threefold. 

I just finished two weeks of DDP Yoga and I still feel great and motivated.  I lost I think about four inches off my waist, I can see my cheekbones now. I can feel the difference of when I work out and don't work out, when I don't work out my joints get stiff and I am in pain, when I do work out I am able to get around better and stand for longer periods of time. I am going to weigh myself next week to see if I have dropped anymore pounds, I lost two my first week. My goal is to average 10 pounds a month.  I am hoping that when I get to my goal weight I won't have all that excess skin. If I do I do I'll deal with it, I will not get surgery. If I have to wear layers and spandex I will. :) I didn't think I would be able to do these work outs but I am, I just finished 25 mins.  I look forward to working out every day now, I went from sitting in a chair in front of my laptop day after day hardly moving, only getting up to go to the bathroom and to get something to eat. Now I am doing between 17-25 mins of yoga each day, I am doing the limited mobility to start it goes for 13 weeks and then you move up to the next level for 13 weeks and then the next level and so on, my goal this year is to also loose fifty pounds, I am not going to go any higher than that as I don't want to get discouraged. Soon I will take before shots, as I do still look the same, and post them. I'll try to keep a picture progress each month or every three months. I love this work out, I am Two weeks in and feeling great!