Birthdays and Blues.

I turned 43 years old on the second of March.  I really don't feel any different.  I can remember how excited I used to get at it being my day.  I guess as we get older, or at least I think, that we tend to loose that.  I realize there are a lot of things we tend to loose as we get older, the wonder of the day, the joy of seeing a rain puddle and splashing in it.  Christmas morning, to me, now being a wiccan, I celebrate Yule, but before my journey into the Craft, I did celebrate Christmas and used to get so excited about it.  Even Halloween or Samhain used to be a great excitement in my life.  

Why do adults loose that, is it because we are told that when we reach a certain age that we are adults now and must act like adults, and don't go splashing in the rain puddles because the neighbors might look at you strangely?   Right now it's raining outside and chilly.  I can remember on warm summer days when the rain would fall, I would be right outside playing in it splashing in every puddle I could find.  Loving the joy and wonder that the world has/had to offer.  A lot of us get so caught up in our busy lives that we forgot how to live it.  We loose ourselves and we loose our friends.  I caught myself remembering how , when I was younger, I lived in a small town, I can remember neighbors sitting on their porches, and chatting with each other, I can remember seeing ladies standing at the fence that connected their backyards and just chatting, people waving at you as you walked down the street, the excitement and anticipation of waiting for my best friends letter to arrive in the mailbox and hurrying up to send a reply, now it's done by email, to me that just feels so impersonal and cold.  

I remember going out on summer nights and chasing lightening bugs and drinking out of the garden hose, and gazing up at the stars while laying on my back on the ground.  A lot of kids now days do not know what that is like.  

I did feel a little blue on my birthday, as I remembered all the ones before when I was a kid.  Maybe I should go out this summer and chase lightening bugs and gaze at the stars once more..