Jules

Dear Jules,
I just found out that you passed away three years ago.  I am so sorry I wish we had kept in touch.  When I heard, all the memories came flooding in, like how I would spend the night at your house and your, mom, who,  also passed not long after you did, would make her tuna noodle casserole, and you and I would watch Clan of The Cave Bear and then go up to your room and listen to music and talk about the boys we had a crush on in school, and we would talk and laugh all night and fall asleep with the radio playing, you always had to have that damn radio on, I never figured out how you could sleep with it on.  I always thought you were cool and I loved your clothing style and how you didn't take shit off of anyone, I remember walking the halls with you at school and sitting with you, Heath, Sheena, and Marcy at lunch, I remember when we used to walk the square late at night and around town, I remember how we went to your grandpa's and we climbed that big ass hill, I didn't really want to but your grandpa said it was tradition for friends and family to climb ___(name left out), hill. I remember how we would pass notes in class and put L/Y/L/A/S F/F at the end, I still have a few of those notes that you gave to me, Jules I am so sorry we lost touch for awhile, until I found you on facebook and saw that you were married and had your little girl finally.  Remember when we were riding in the back of your mom's truck late at night down the gravel road and we were trying to come up with a song, it went "The night is dark, the moon is full the wolves are howling in the night..." that is as far as we got, we used to listen to Ozzy's Bark at the moon and the beastie boys, I remember you used to always wear that damn black trench coat and I threatened to burn it a few times, LOL, you were tough on the outside but so sweet and caring on the inside, you never let anyone or anything get you down, you always had a smile and you were always there to listen and make me smile when I was feeling down, you had my back and I hope I had yours, you became my sister, my friend, when Brat, moved away, I am just in shock Jules, that you are gone, I wish I could have kept in touch, I did try to find you again when I had to change my facebook and sent you a friend request, now I know why you never answered, you were fighting a long hard fight, Jules, It isn't fair, man, 40 or 41 was way to young to go, I know you are now with your husband, Mike, died four months ago this year also of cancer, Jules, I don't want to say goodbye, I keep thinking about how you were and all the good times we had, I just saw pictures of your little girl and she looks so cute and so much like you, I tried to find out where she is now, I am hoping that she is with her big brother, Man Jules, I can't say goodbye, I'll say see you later 
L/Y/L/A/S F/F, Tracy -N- Jules B/F/F remember Jules, this is how we signed it, I still do Jules, I still do, 
p.s. I remember how much you loved kiwi and you got me started loving them as well, I'll eat a few in memory of you and some damn crab legs,
p.p.s. see you later gator.....I am waiting to hear you say after while crocodile...

*This letter is to one of my best friends in high school, we met back in 89 and kept in touch up until 2014, she passed away in 2015 of stomach cancer, she was only 40, or 41.*