Feeling Lost

Good morning or afternoon, 
I haven't posted in awhile, due to my depression running amuck. I have also been having panic attacks and lately just been wanting to stay home in my own little space.  It sucks a lot especially when I want to get out and go places and do things.  I still haven't gotten my book of shadows, she told me her goal was to get it done and get it sent this month, it's actually two months overdue now.  I keep telling myself that if it doesn't happen this month then I'll put in a case to my payment provider and with etsy to see about getting my book, I don't want a refund just my book, she told me it was halfway done, but she has had the butterfly since May and had all of June and July to work on it, not only that but their shop is down has been for a month now and they are telling people that etsy is having an  issue with their shop and they are working to get it back up, it has never taken etsy that long to get a shop up.  
I also have slacked off on eating correctly and working out, I really am trying hard to get motivated to get into the mind frame of shedding this weight, I may start another blog about my journey of weight loss, keeping track of the foods I consume and what and when I workout. I am feeling lost and don't know where to start, I had it going in Springfield, working out, eating correctly I was loosing weight, I get here and that all stops, I gained 70 pounds in the three years that I have been here, from 289 to 360.  I keep trying to plan out what to do, to get started, I think I'll set a goal to work out ten mins a day to start then build up to longer, after having not worked out for years, I think that will be a good start. I keep putting things off and I really need to get out of this slump. So yep I think I'll start a food blog and weight loss blog, I am tired of feeling lost.