It Is Okay To Say No!

Merry Meet All, 
Is it or is it not okay to say no?  When I was living in Missouri, I did have a few friends and I was the yes girl, every time a friend or a coworker at work needed or wanted help I was there, I was the first one to volunteer I was the last one to leave any place or gathering as I helped clean up or helped with what ever, I was always the first to arrive to help get things ready. I was constantly doing this, even though I had things of my own to do and needed to take care of my own stuff, I was afraid to look selfish or to let anyone down or have people be mad at me. It got to the point that I was neglecting myself, neglecting my emotional and mental well being. If I started to say no I would feel guilty, or if I did say no, I would regret it and tell that person okay I'll be there I'll help you. I never asked for anything in return. I never asked for help from anyone. In February of  2011 my fiancee, now husband, asked me to move to San Diego to be with him, of course I said yes, I knew I had only a few months to get things done as he wanted me there the first of April. So I would go to work come home pack a few boxes and relax, on my days off I ran errands and came home and packed and starting cleaning, I was on a time crunch as well.  I didn't ask anyone for help. I didn't want to bother anyone. I was also still that yes girl, I came to San Diego, I started to go to therapy, it took awhile, but we hit on the Yes Girl or Guy mentality, I was shocked what my therapist told me, It's okay to say no, it's okay to live for yourself, it's okay to give when you want to, but just remember to take care of you and live for you.  It's okay if people get mad at you , stick to what you feel. There are emotional vampires out there and people that will make you feel guilty or feel at fault, and that is okay as well, but you have to learn to stand your ground and say no. So if you are like how I was, take a deep breath and just say no, it may be hard to do at first, but trust me, it will get better, and if that person you are saying no to makes you feel guilty and feel bad then that person isn't being a good friend. 

Another question I have or something I want to touch on. 

I always thought a friend was someone that you did things with, such as shopping, going out to lunch, meeting for drinks, chatting on the phone, building each other up, supporting each other, going to the movies together,  gladly introducing you to their best friends, and that special someone in their lives, perhaps double dating  with special someone and your special someone, am I right? 
What if that person never invites you out to lunch or to dinner, never invites you to the movies, never says hey let's get together for a drink, never wants you to have a girls night with their bestie or even meet that special someone in their life, even though you have extended the invitation yourself and they decline, but yet they themselves have done those same things with other friends. Is that a friend also?