Just A Little Update

Merry Meet Everyone, 
I haven't blogged in a bit. I have been feeling not so motivated lately to do much, however I have been trying to work on my book that I have been writing. I am also going to redo my book of shadows see if I can make improvements on it.  Speaking of book of shadows, I don't know if you remember when I had ordered one from magickallymade?  The one I paid hundreds of dollars for and never got, I thought for sure that I heard the last, well I contacted paypal and the woman I spoke with is going to submit a one time courtesy refund form for paypal's approval so I may be getting the money back.  *keeps fingers and toes crossed* I'll know more in 48-72 hours from last night.  

I have also been dealing with my mental health issues, today I have been irritable and I snapped at my hubby. So we are like two cats circling eachother, I don't mean to get upset and snap at him, It wasn't even him I was upset at, it was myself, we just got back from grocery shopping and I managed to go in, which as it's been hard for me to do the last few years with my anxiety and panic attacks and the pain in my knees and back, but I did it, and when we got home, I was in pain and letting the anxiety out that I have been holding back while in the store and I put the new carton of eggs in the fridge on the top shelf and was pulling something out to throw away, the eggs slid out and fell onto the floor breaking all of them...so I left fly the eff bomb and he asked what did I say I said yes I said the fuck word and he tells me to calm down, and I said well I am trying to put this shit away and I dropped the eggs, and he goes oh it's shit now, I just said you know what you deal with it then.

I get tired of having to deal day to day with these issues, I get tired of taking the pills and I just get tired.  I feel like I should be doing more with my life.  But it is hard to function day after day with this, there have been times where I was like eff it I am just going to take all my pills and not deal with this shit, but I cannot do that, I have been given a second chance and I plan to stay strong. I hope you all are doing well, Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to give you A Little Update
Blessed Be