Not My Circus Not My Monkeys

 

    Well it's a New Year, I sat on the couch with my husband on New Year's eve waiting for the ball to drop and a bit saddened at the live telecast of Times Square, seeing how empty it was, compared to last year. As the ball dropped I wondered what the new year was going to be like, I didn't dare make the usual resolution to lose weight and say the normal "this year is going to be my year" instead I looked at my husband and said my goals for this year are:

1. To be here now.

2. To Just Breathe.

3. To Know That I am Enough.

4. To Stay Strong  ; 

5. To Remember it's not my circus, not my monkeys. 

 

Number one for me means to only control what I can today to do what I can today, to let the past go and not worry or think of the future.TO BE HERE NOW.

Number Two for me means that when I am feeling overwhelmed or I just feel like my anxiety is getting to me or I am getting irritated at something to stop and JUST BREATHE.

Number Three for me means when I am looking in the mirror and feeling ugly, and worthless, and not good enough or that I am a failure (that's what the voices in my head tell me) I stand there looking in the mirror I am going to tell my self That I AM ENOUGH. 

Number Four for me is that I am not done with this life yet, even though I have tried to end my life, that when I sink down into that dark pit and ready to give up that it will pass I just need to STAY STRONG. 

Number Five when I want to speak before I think or get upset over something that someone is doing or not following the rules, and I just want to mouth off that it's NOT MY CIRCUS NOT MY MONKEYS.